It's been a long time -- 10 years. The best part? Seeing Carolyn. She's always made my heart happy -- just the fact that she exists makes the world a better place. It was a lot different, a little awkward in that way that going back to somewhere after so long always is.
You could see people wondering why we left -- and the people who asked, I told the truth to. I was so very ill, hurting so badly, that I didn't have the energy and the heart to see other people, to pretend to be whole, to be real. We hunkered down and hid away, using what energy I had for the absolute basics -- raising the child, paying the bills, breathing. It seems odd, I think, because this sort of community is supposed to be about supporting you when you fall, but I didn't have enough of me to be supported anymore. I couldn't accept help or love or care. I couldn't do anything but have faith that one day I'd come through the other side.
I was right. I did.
And I hope that I can find a home in the community again.
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We are glad to have you back. So sorry I wimped out of church, but glad Carolyn didn't.
ReplyDeleteThank you, lady. I hoped to see you. I think of you often. :D
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